'Birthday' by Ros Jones

A young mother is desperate to see her baby but can she deliver on time?
'Birthday' by Ros Jones
002-099 Birthday by Ros Jones.pdf
Adobe Acrobat Document 36.8 KB

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Comments: 6
  • #6

    Michael van Koetsveld (Wednesday, 01 May 2019 00:44)

    Nicely written but, to my mind, a little tame, other than the time constraint.

    What some of the other comments allude to is adding something unique to this birth, something big, that raises it above the other scripts in the similar sphere.

    What if…

    You know what to do, and I'm looking forward to a re-read.

  • #5

    Sharn (Friday, 26 April 2019 07:36)

    Hi Ros,
    A beautiful story! Not read the other birthing stories yet so the following may be unhelpful:

    * she could be having her baby taken away from her

    * the baby is born with a disability

    * she dies and the baby lives on

    Know they sound quite doom and gloom! But want to say I love your story as it is! The above is if you want to try to differ it somehow. X

  • #4

    ros jones (Wednesday, 27 March 2019 21:04)

    thanks,guys. x

  • #3

    Lorenzo Colonna (Wednesday, 27 March 2019 07:35)

    Hi Ros. Your script is amazing. A beautiful story that kept my eyes glued to the pages until the end. The only thing I can say is that I agree with Mark&Mark about the other birth stories. Great job!!

  • #2

    Mark Walker (Saturday, 23 March 2019 08:42)

    Hi Ros! Nicely done and an emotional scene that I can imagine would be playing out hundreds of times if this was a reality. As Mark said, there are a few other "birth" stories so if you can find them, check them out and maybe think about how you might make yours stand out. I really liked it! :-)

  • #1

    Mark Renshaw (Friday, 22 March 2019 12:40)

    I've read a few impact scripts which deal with births, it is a common theme and understandably so. Well written, easy to follow and full of lovely sentiment.