A conscientious Volunteer Health Worker in an Ebola treatment centre is faced with a heartbreaking decision.
I want to option this script... CLICK HERE
Stephanie (Sunday, 10 March 2019 00:58)
Thanks Phil for your comments. I take your point with the flashbacks- i’ll Look at making it clearer. And the husband... hmm. I actually did intend Christian to be tetchy because he is jealous of her
devotion to the job. And at the end of the day she must choose. But yes, economy is paramount. Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated.
Phil Town (Sunday, 03 March 2019 05:58)
This has the makings of a strong story. Adaline's devotion and sacrifice are very touching. It's atmospheric, and the final shot is a real heart-grabber.
A couple of points:
- I got a little lost with the timeline (and I did go back several times to try to find my way through); could it be made clearer/simpler? (or is it just me?)
- Her husband sounds a bit tetchy, which I don't think you intended; perhaps his entreaty and her refusal could be done a little more economically (with less dialogue perhaps?).
Look forward to reading the next draft.