'Blood, Sweat and Tears' by Stephanie Ginger LATEST DRAFT

A conscientious Volunteer Health Worker in an Ebola treatment centre is faced with a heartbreaking decision.

'Blood, Sweat and Tears' by Stephanie Ginger
002-105 Blood Sweat and Tears Redraft.pd
Adobe Acrobat Document 40.6 KB

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Comments: 6
  • #6

    Stephanie Ginger (Sunday, 05 May 2019 16:21)

    Thanks Michael,
    All the best,

  • #5

    Michael van Koetsveld (Monday, 29 April 2019 20:59)

    Too big a budget for me but I like the story and the dilema. Nice work.

  • #4

    Stephanie (Friday, 05 April 2019 20:13)

    Thank you Carmen, that’s really helpful.

  • #3

    Carmen Radtke (Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:17)

    A simple, deeply moving story. The only thing I have to add is that I’d like to see her more torn between her patient and her own child. Maybe the dying mother asks her to look after her boy, or she promises she won’t leave him? There should be a moment of agony. But I really love this.

  • #2

    Stephanie (Sunday, 10 March 2019 00:58)

    Thanks Phil for your comments. I take your point with the flashbacks- i’ll Look at making it clearer. And the husband... hmm. I actually did intend Christian to be tetchy because he is jealous of her devotion to the job. And at the end of the day she must choose. But yes, economy is paramount. Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated.

  • #1

    Phil Town (Sunday, 03 March 2019 05:58)

    Hi, Stephanie

    This has the makings of a strong story. Adaline's devotion and sacrifice are very touching. It's atmospheric, and the final shot is a real heart-grabber.

    A couple of points:
    - I got a little lost with the timeline (and I did go back several times to try to find my way through); could it be made clearer/simpler? (or is it just me?)
    - Her husband sounds a bit tetchy, which I don't think you intended; perhaps his entreaty and her refusal could be done a little more economically (with less dialogue perhaps?).

    Look forward to reading the next draft.



Past Drafts...

'Blood, Sweat and Tears' by Stephanie Ginger
002-077 Blood Sweat and Tears.pdf
Adobe Acrobat Document 40.3 KB