A suburban sex party comes to an abrupt end when the participants are told the world will end in 45 minutes.
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Christopher Dane (Wednesday, 05 June 2019 09:15)
This is so weird and wonderfully comic... the thought of these middle class people in a sex dungeon simply is fantastic with a Monty Phyton esque feel to it... at one point I wanted the dialogue to
be entirely between Peter and Judith and that they would walk out at the end just leaving Jeremy hanging as it were, but then I do love the parking stuff so there you go :-)
Emma Rae Teare (Wednesday, 05 June 2019 17:23)
I’m fairly sure Chris said, ‘please don’t do comedy!’ That said, it was well written and funny in a ‘Monty Python’ kind of way.
Leilani Holmes (Sunday, 09 June 2019 04:27)
I liked the mundanity of this, it's banal and funny and cheeky, borders on the crass a little too much for my taste which I felt took away from the humour of it (I guess that's a matter of personal
taste) but at the same time the characters felt very human and ordinary despite their exaggerated recreational pursuits. It seemed a bit of a missed opportunity that out of three people practising
S&M in a sex dungeon, none of them were very interested in whether the end of the world would hurt. As well as subverting expectations you could play further into your theme.
Jonathan (Sunday, 09 June 2019 17:49)
This is really entertaining and has a great flow to it. My only qualm would be their reactions to the world ending. The mundane comedy of it was nice but perhaps they could go to more extremes on
hearing the news.
Shuk Gant (Sunday, 09 June 2019 21:43)
I thought this was really well written. I could see it all so clearly, the tone was on point and it was very funny. For me the reference of 'two fists' was a bit too far - perhaps something else
that's similar but not so distracting? (As a Woman I had a visceral, clenching, repulsed not in a good or funny way) and somehow the phrase "I guess" seemed a bit too American casual for the
character. Perhaps "I expect' or "I suppose"? I also think it could end earlier, after the bomb drop about Billy Elliot. In fact, if you wanted to be really a la mode, I could genuinely say that If I
found out I had Hamilton tickets the night the world ends I would legitimately cry about that before everything else. I mean.... Hamilton. Thanks for a great read. Well done!