'Forever Young' by Emma Pullar

Teen lovers accept their fate.

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'Forever Young' by Emma Pullar
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Comments: 7
  • #7

    Emma Pullar (Monday, 08 April 2019 17:58)

    Hi Tasbir,

    Thanks so much for reading. Glad you like it.
    They should have phone signal because they're not under ground and the coffin isn't nailed down, the shallow hole they dig is symbolic.

    If you have ever tried to dig a hole in the woods (I'm guessing a few writers have for research...? Haha) the ground is hard and it would take ages to dig a hole deep enough for a coffin. Hard work. Teens wouldn't bother.

  • #6

    Tasbir (Monday, 08 April 2019 17:34)

    Great story, believable and visionary. Like the fact the brother is at home watching a film with the family whilst his sister buries herself with her lover. Wouldn't change anything personally and would be interested to know if there is mobile reception in a coffin underground - not prepping anything just curious if it works!

  • #5

    Emma Pullar (Tuesday, 02 April 2019 13:02)

    Thanks so much, Eileen.

  • #4

    Eileen Wilson (Tuesday, 26 March 2019 16:09)

    Dear Emma
    A sweet wee tale... but it would freak me out in a coffin! If the lid's on I'd worry for claustrophobia, the dark, bugs etc. (These two must be in love. Would have to be some guy to make me do that!)
    The only thing I saw I'd change was 'are cuddled up' to 'cuddle up' on the sofa, otherwise good job. Tidy way to go.
    Eileen :0)

  • #3

    Emma Pullar (Monday, 25 March 2019 18:48)

    Thanks so much for the feedback Mark and Mark. Appreciated.

  • #2

    Mark Walker (Thursday, 21 March 2019 07:33)

    Hey Emma, a great, bittersweet story for the end of the world - I remember reading an earlier draft of this and enjoyed reading it again - dare I say it, but I think it is very touching, but also uplifting and I think this is probably the way most of us will go out in the future....texting from a coffin! (Well, maybe just the texting part.... :-)

    I have nothing to say to change/improve it!

  • #1

    Mark Renshaw (Wednesday, 20 March 2019 10:04)

    A nice gothic way of dealing with the situation! Just a slight technical thing, there's a blank third page. Final Draft sometimes gets carried away and adds an extra page just for laughs.