Confessions at the end.
I want to option this script... CLICK HERE
Stephanie Ginger (Sunday, 17 February 2019 15:39)
Hi Ben, this is a great twist on an adulterous love affair. I did have to read it twice to work out what was going on in the second page. But I think it could work really well as a contained story in
somewhere like Ireland (or is that too much of a cliché?) Actually, on reflection it could be set anywhere, just need to adjust the "country" in the country kitchen and the type of priest. It might
have even more conflict if John interrupts their lovemaking who has actually rushed back to be with Ruth only to realise she wants to spend her last moments with his brother.
Wasn't sure about the line "can anyone guess what delayed me?" It felt a bit clunky. I like John seeing Tom's hand on Ruth's shoulder but then Tom leaves anyway so he doesn't hear what he has to say.
It didn't feel quite right. If you just took that bit out and Tom just walks away, weeps into the scarf and John shuts the door and tells Ruth of Tom's other conquests, to me it feels more poignant
(and more utterly horrible of John because it might not even be true)! Well done though! I'd love to see this one. Stephanie