Last check on the bucket list.
I want to option this script... CLICK HERE
Christopher Dane (Saturday, 01 June 2019 10:35)
Fierce and simple and I can see this being very effective in the hands of a director with fight action/experience. You should probably just call it a hall and not the Royal Albert Hall to free up a
producer's choice, and also make sure we don't miss that the bedroom is half decorated as in someone has been doing DIY and not just put some cushions in there, then the hammer wouldn't come out of
nowhere. Really like the linking of the people at the end with the empty guitar stand. Nice!
Michael van Koetsveld (Friday, 26 April 2019 22:53)
Can you get the Royal Albert Hall for this?
That would be excellent.
However, I suspect that it is unlikely. I do think that this could be set in any space with a stage, like a village hall or a town hall, that he's just desperate to perform somewhere.
There are a few practical effects here that will need handling carefully if you're shooting the scenes more than once, but with a good team they should be possible. Plus you'll need a guitar you can
smash, perhaps more than once.
A few minor fixes needed I think.
If the man saw the women go into the house, how long did they get alone in the bedroom before he gets in?
How did he get in? Did he smash the door or a window? We should hear that at least to raise the tension between the women.
You mention bedroom half decorated but it still came as a surprise that the tools were just at hand. Perhaps mention a toolbox or something.
The last reveal, why would the man have had his guitar and amps in the bedroom? Perhaps you could make the connection clearer by having a poster with him in a band when he was a bit younger.
Anyway, god job and I'm sure you can get some interest in it.