'Headboard' by Gordon Slack

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'Headboard' by Gordon Slack
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Comments: 1
  • #1

    Michael van Koetsveld (Wednesday, 15 May 2019 09:00)

    Hi Gordon,

    A whole script and we only see a hand - easy casting!

    There's a typo early on (first male voice) where "Your incredible." should be "You're incredible."

    I did find the dialogue a bit on the nose later when they are reacting to the news and confusing as to who was actually talking.

    Perhaps a bit more info about what the noise outside is. If she just found out about the impact, surely she wouldn't ask what the noise was, people shouting at the end of the world?

    When they decide to accept their fate and get it on again, I think there needs to be something like a pause, a moment, where they get to choose what to do and then perhaps she should ask more obviously for what she wants... losing the "Goodness me!" and ending with "Want to make my earth move?".

    Hope this helps.