'More' by Phil Charles

A mother ensures her toddler’s last minutes on earth are spent in absolute heaven.

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'More' by Phil Charles
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Comments: 2
  • #1

    Lee Crompton (Monday, 25 March 2019 14:01)

    Phil, I love this script. Simple but visual and very effective. I could clearly see it as I was reading. Nice apocalyptic backdrop with the empty supermarket and upended trolleys.

    If I was filming this, I'd maybe spend slightly longer on the internal scene, possibly in the knife aisle choosing the biggest blade on offer so we lead the audience down a "violence" route before revealing the knife is just to jimmy the till open and in turn why she wants the money (which is genius by the way). She could even be pictured nicking the fags.

    Depending on how the final feature is put together (and how many times we actually see the blast) I think this would work equally well if we didn't actually see the blast. I like the reflection on the pound coin but at the same time I think the reveal on why she wants the cash is just as effective on it's own.

    Well done.

  • #2

    Paul Rapley (Thursday, 18 April 2019 13:15)

    Potential to become one of the most moving sections of the assembled film.
    Not much to add to Lee's remarks, but you deserve more than a single comment.
    Emotional outcome will, of course hinge almost entirely upon the casting and how the actors are guided.