'Once' by Richard Osborne

When the world is ending, what would you do to get what you want?

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'Once' by Richard Osborne
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Comments: 2
  • #2

    Lee Crompton (Thursday, 07 February 2019 14:08)

    Hi Richard. In contrast to Elinor I felt I knew exactly where this was leading albeit not the eventual outcome. It’s a brutal story with an equally brutal ending and whilst I’m sure there would be an increase in lawlessness in the final hours of mankind, I’m not sure how this film would sit amongst 49 others.

    From a script perspective, I think there appears to be a lot of dialogue but much description. James for example, personally I’d like to know a bit more about him and his demeanour.

    In terms of story, I agree with Elinor. It all seems to end very quickly. You could maybe foreshadow with an item Anne eventually used to fend James off or of your intention is to shock then maybe Anne doesn’t disconnect the phone and the husband can hear everything at the other end and unable to help. Maybe the family wronged James in the past. Personally I think this is too shocking but I’d somehow like to see more story. Hope this helps in some way and good luck with it

  • #1

    elinor.perrysmith@gmail.com (Monday, 04 February 2019 20:58)

    Hi Richard, I wasn't quite sure where you were going with this and I was surprised that it ended how it did. I assume this is a first draft. While there's nothing wrong with rape stories as such, I think it's important how they're handled. A way forward might be to start the story later, so that Anne talks James out of such an ugly act.