'One For the Road' by Barry Staff

A man raises a glass to the news he doesn’t believe.

'One For the Road' by Barry Staff
002-118 One for the Road.pdf
Adobe Acrobat Document 127.8 KB

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Comments: 2
  • #2

    Michael van Koetsveld (Friday, 26 April 2019 23:14)

    Great scene, very makeable, but I agree with Paul that the initial intrigue and direction got a bit lost.

    Hope to see another version where you keep on that tack.

    Good luck

  • #1

    Paul (Thursday, 18 April 2019)


    I was lured into this by your blog post...
    I have to say it was disappointing.
    It starts off as a nod to 'Fake News', which is great, a very valid idea...but it doesn't go along with that idea, it somehow ends up about the barman having a job interview and feels a millions miles away from what was originally hinted at.

    Also, the character is interesting but feels out of place in this pub. It seems to be an 'Old Man' pub; he feels like he should be running a pop-up shop in Camden.

    Lose the interview bit, stick to the fake news and expand that story.