I want to option this script... CLICK HERE
Write a comment
Christopher Dane (Monday, 03 June 2019 19:08)
Really like this one, good touch with an older person in the lead... is there any way for Matthew NOT to have a family, just so we as an audience don't question that he would abandon his wife and
kids (I did) and therefore take away from the joyous ending?
Tiffany (Monday, 03 June 2019 19:33)
I like the concept of a son spending the last moments of his life breaking his dad out of a nursing home for one last ride. For me, in some places, the descriptions feel like a lot and make the
experience of reading the script a little confusing to envision what is taking place in that moment. I think that perhaps Matthew should not have a family of his own so that he doesn't have to choose
between them and his dad.
David Wike (Monday, 03 June 2019 22:13)
Whilst I couldn't nail this to a specific point on the prescribed timeline I found this script deeply moving without being sentimentally 'on the nose'. A canny balance of letting the visuals and
character voice work in synergy; contrary to an earlier poster, I disagree about the descriptions - I felt they made it and had a nice turn of phrase. It was inspiring, hopeful (in the face of no
hope) and - perhaps very significant - highly adaptable from a production context.
Neil Elton (TC) (Monday, 03 June 2019 22:31)
Kim, I can honestly say that this script could be made into a feature film, with all the stages of Harold's life, having flashbacks leading to the motorcycle riding moment. You are an extremely
gifted screenwriter and I can honestly say there will be a lot of interest in your work very, very soon.
Leilani Holmes (Monday, 03 June 2019 22:36)
Very much liked this one. Particularly loved the 'rival your mother' line. I don't think I'd change much about this.
Teodora (Monday, 03 June 2019 23:38)
I love this! So simple, yet so punchy. That's just an idea, but maybe more of the photos in his room could show moments with the motorbike. Also, instead of just hearing sobs, we could have a shot or
two - a glimpse - of people saying goodbye to their loved ones.
Jaye Nolan (Tuesday, 04 June 2019 11:14)
This is a beautiful story, you convey all the emotion economically and considering the circumstances, it's uplifting. I can see why people would be concerned for Matthew's family - maybe it could be
that they're with Daphne's parents/other family, with them all agreeing that Harold shouldn't be left alone? I think you've room for an additional line of dialogue along those lines.
Josephine Samson (Tuesday, 04 June 2019 14:37)
That was cute love story between father and son. Very well done. The sacrifice Matthew made to spend the last moments with his dad rather than his wife and children may cause the audience to pause.
Perhaps he could sacrifice something else.
Thandi Lubimbi (Tuesday, 04 June 2019 23:52)
I loved it. It was beautiful, elegant and touching.