After finding out she has moments to live, a young woman must choose between satisfying her own desires and looking after those that depend on her.
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Richard (Tuesday, 12 February 2019 14:46)
It’s a really vivid and evocative script. I can really feel the constant noise and challenge that Danni has to face and the fade out of the sound half way through is very effective.
I’m wondering if the countdown on the TV at the end should have less time on it. I completely appreciate the sense of release that you have created for Danni at the end, but with 45 minutes left, I
can imagine it all kicking-of again before the final moments and the sense of release being lost again.
Good luck with your script.
Gordon Slack (Friday, 08 February 2019 18:00)
Nice set up leading to her leaving the house. One comment. I wonder whether it could be made clearer how she wants to satisfy her own desires; this might strengthen the conflict.
Just my thoughts.
Best Wishes with your story.