Yep. Great potential.
Suggestions:
Rather than "Will die. Wife...", why does the poor chap not sob out his wife's name, then the name of his children (or the other way round)? After all, the audience knows what their fate is to be.
Maybe a "sorry" (for not being able to protect them) might be both more credible and more moving - don't have him actually articulate his reasons out loud, because the audience will add that in for
themselves.
Rather than "Beethoven? Wife, me..", simply have the chap from Bulgaria begin to intone a section of one of Beethoven's compositions (and, please, not the opening to the Fifth!). The mature geezer
could, perhaps, enter a duet with him (if that's not too corny), or your music track could carry it through to the end [I know - you'd have to acquire some arrangement, but...].
Just a couple of ruminations about a most intriguing theme.
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Paul Rapley (Thursday, 18 April 2019 12:54)
Yep. Great potential.
Suggestions:
Rather than "Will die. Wife...", why does the poor chap not sob out his wife's name, then the name of his children (or the other way round)? After all, the audience knows what their fate is to be. Maybe a "sorry" (for not being able to protect them) might be both more credible and more moving - don't have him actually articulate his reasons out loud, because the audience will add that in for themselves.
Rather than "Beethoven? Wife, me..", simply have the chap from Bulgaria begin to intone a section of one of Beethoven's compositions (and, please, not the opening to the Fifth!). The mature geezer could, perhaps, enter a duet with him (if that's not too corny), or your music track could carry it through to the end [I know - you'd have to acquire some arrangement, but...].
Just a couple of ruminations about a most intriguing theme.