Hi Stephanie. Maybe it's just me but the first page of script seems to end abruptly. Is there a page 2?
Best wishes
Gordon
#2
Eileen Wilson(Saturday, 09 February 2019 12:23)
Dear Stephanie
This is a good, well-written script but I wonder if you could turn it on it's head? The stereotype is the brash american redneck fighting the native american from his land. So, it's not original in a
way. It would be nice to see it the other way around. The native out to get the american?
Mind your capital 'S' on pulls at the end and do you mean 'Sputters', or 'splutters'. Also 'Dogs', or 'A dog' may flow better.
Hope that helps,
Kind regards
Eileen
#3
Bruce Thomas(Saturday, 09 February 2019 22:22)
Hey, great work. I love the challenge of one page. and you have done expertly. also nice to read something that isn't set in the UK. your script had a great sense of space to it, and i like how you
rendered your characters. thanks. bruce
#4
Stephanie(Thursday, 14 February 2019 12:39)
Hey everyone, thanks for your comments but unfortunately only just realised you only got half the story - apparently it didn't upload properly. Don't know what happened there (!) We have on-off
broadband so that might be it. But your comments are much appreciated anyway. Hopefully I'll upload the whole thing, but a revised version as I have since been mulling over it too.
#5
Michael van Koetsveld(Wednesday, 01 May 2019 21:36)
Write a comment
Gordon Slack (Thursday, 07 February 2019 14:10)
Hi Stephanie. Maybe it's just me but the first page of script seems to end abruptly. Is there a page 2?
Best wishes
Gordon
Eileen Wilson (Saturday, 09 February 2019 12:23)
Dear Stephanie
This is a good, well-written script but I wonder if you could turn it on it's head? The stereotype is the brash american redneck fighting the native american from his land. So, it's not original in a way. It would be nice to see it the other way around. The native out to get the american?
Mind your capital 'S' on pulls at the end and do you mean 'Sputters', or 'splutters'. Also 'Dogs', or 'A dog' may flow better.
Hope that helps,
Kind regards
Eileen
Bruce Thomas (Saturday, 09 February 2019 22:22)
Hey, great work. I love the challenge of one page. and you have done expertly. also nice to read something that isn't set in the UK. your script had a great sense of space to it, and i like how you rendered your characters. thanks. bruce
Stephanie (Thursday, 14 February 2019 12:39)
Hey everyone, thanks for your comments but unfortunately only just realised you only got half the story - apparently it didn't upload properly. Don't know what happened there (!) We have on-off broadband so that might be it. But your comments are much appreciated anyway. Hopefully I'll upload the whole thing, but a revised version as I have since been mulling over it too.
Michael van Koetsveld (Wednesday, 01 May 2019 21:36)
Looking forward to the revised, full, version.